I don't know exactly why I am always interested in the word "wandering". The unforgettable moments I had when I left my hometown ten years ago can probably explain it why.Graduating from university, i went to a small city to work for a paper-making company. In my workplace, I mingled with good buddies.Being nearly the only girl, I was spoiled by my male workmates.Moreover, the working atmosphere was dynamic and challenging that I felt i was re-born.I felt that I became a very optimistic and smart girl.
Another experience that impressed me much when I was in that small city was my re-engagemnet to God. Since that re-engagement I found my life so peaceful. The problems I met in my life were resolved one by one so easily. i believe that it was God who helped me be tough and patient to solve the problems. Often i felt that the problems just disappeared like the wind blew.
Coming back to my hometown after I resigned from my previous job, i filled my life by being a teacher.Then,there was a sudden thought came to my mind. I wanted to continue my study out of town. I took an application form for graduate program in one of the best university in Indonesia. As a matter of fact it was a kind of dilemma as my parents wanted me not to leave. They suggested that I continued my study in my hometown so that i could still earn for money. Not knowing what to do, I let my application form untouched for some months. I was about to cancel it, when one day i read a small book containing some wise words of Imam Syafii- one of the most influential Imams in Islam. In one of the pages, there was his saying about wandering. If I am not mistaken, he said that there are at least three benefits of wandering. First, it widens the wanderer's horizon. Second, it gives the wanderer more friends. Third, it ceases the sadness. I was so stunned reading his words that i determined to send the application form. Up to now, I believe that was a clue from God to me.
Eventually, i left my hometown again to pursue what he said in the book, and to hope that i would have good times just like when I left my hometown at the first time. I had to thank God that i did underwent some beautiful moments in Jogya (the second place I moved to). Up to now i still can feel the peaceful and religious atmosphere in my boarding room. I used to listen to the reading of the Holy of Al Quran via radio. I also missed praying in the big and marvelous campus mosque near my dwelling. The imam read the holy AlQuran so beautifully that the verses could touch my heart so deeply. That was the most beautiful and longest prayer I ever had in the mosque.
When you are reading this post, i am no longer in jogya. i am in Malang, a city in the east Java. It takes around 8 to ten hours from my home town (Semarang- the capital city of Central java). Again I left my hometown. After finishing my study in Jogya in January 2006, I applied for a job in Malang and was accepted. Well, now I am far from my hometown, my family and my dearest hubby.
Well, what am i looking for actually by leaving all people who love me? I am searching for the joy and happiness that I often feel when i am back to my family after a long way travel. I miss them and they miss me.At that moment i realize how they are so valuable to me adn how I am worthy for them. A feeling that often vanishes when we are always together.
Honestly, sometimes I do not know where my life is leading to. I just try to follow, accept, and even enjoy the consequences of every decision I made before. Trying not to regret or even blame others or condition that and trying to enjoy it :D.